Forever is a long time. Try explaining forever to a four year old.
Sadly, Tua passed away last night. It happened peacefully in his sleep. He came into the house very slowly last night. I thought something might be wrong. I feel lucky that I got to spend some time with him petting him and talking to him. D was out bear hunting and when he got home he got to do the same. At some point in the night I woke up and noticed he was awake. I helped him get back onto his bed. Then sometime between then and morning he died. We just woke up to him lying there, motionless.
We knew this day would come, eventually. We knew it would be hard. No one could have prepared us though for how hard death is to explain to little ones. At one point today J said, "I'm all done with Tua being dead. When can he be alive again?" There was no way to keep things together. We hugged, cried, and explained and repeated it. Over and over again J would say that Tua died. I think helping a four year old learn to grieve while you're grieving is hard.
Probably helping him get through this will at the same time help us. We've already tried to focus on fond stories of Tua. We talked about how his body doesn't hurt him anymore. J has already somehow gotten the idea of a new dog in his head, someday. For now we'll just let time do its thing.
2 comments:
So this post brought tears to my eyes. Poor Jackson wanting his friend back. I think crying, explaining, sharing stories is all you can do to help one another through this change in life.
Tua has been such a constant buddy, for so many adventurous years in your life. My heart breaks for you in such a time of real grief, as a part of your family is suddenly gone. Our dog buddy, Joe, is very old and in daily pain, and we are just trying to enjoy the time we have left with him. We are just on the other side of the doorway from where you are at. We are thinking of you, so sorry for your loss. David just lit a candle and sounded the chime for you and your family and Tua.
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